This is hilarious, courtesy of the Onion Sports Network (thanks to my cousin Sid for sending this my way).

Tom Coughlin Retires From Family To Spend More Time With Team

With a new year having arrived, and Arav nearing the 9 month mark, I thought I would throw out some random thoughts that have been knocking around in my head.

• The zippers on all baby clothes should be the silent kind. Nothing is worse than putting your baby to sleep only to have him wake up when you zip the wearable blanket
• Someone should make a mini dishwasher for baby bottles and stuff. Because (a) we wash the bottles way more often than we run the dishwasher and (b) we don’t want to mix his stuff with our stuff
• We have the spork already. Why don’t we have forks with a sharp, knife-like edge (a knork, or a foife, if you will) to allow for one-handed eating of food, while we try to control our baby in the other?
• Can anyone make socks, mittens and hats that the baby is not going to pull off within 2 minutes of putting it on? It’s annoying that his shoes are more useful as sock-retainers
• The head of the FDA should be made to drink their daily coffee with a dollop of BPA for 2 years. Then maybe the FDA will do its job
• Someone should make a crib attachment or mini recliner for babies that simulates the sounds, vibrations and feel of a moving car. It would sell like hot cakes to parents desperate for ways to help their baby sleep

• The NY Giants need to do a better job of merchandising clothes for babies. The Yankees are kicking your a$$e$ at this. Even the Mets and Jets have decent options
• You know those sprays you get that you use to keep dogs off furniture? Why isn’t there something like that to keep children away from, say, expensive home entertainment setups, or remote controls, or glasses, or cellphones, or …
• All baby toys should be labeled “May not be used by your baby the way you think it will”
• Someone needs to figure out a way to bottle baby laughter. It is the cure for all ills

My best sports week ever continued on Thursday with me heading to the Meadowlands to attend the home opener of my Superbowl champion New York Giants (thanks, Ranjeet).

First of all, I am sooo happy that football is back. And every home opener is special in its own right, filled as it is with the promise of a new season. But the home opener following a championship-winning season? As a fan, nothing can compare to that. It was my first trip to Giants stadium since I saw my Giants stand toe-to-toe with the mighty and undefeated Patriots in the last regular season game of 2007 – a magnificent game that they ended up losing, but which gave them confidence and propelled them on their fairy-tale run all the way to Superbowl XLII to reclaim the Lombardi trophy. Seeing that championship banner hanging outside Giants stadium was just awesome!

We got to the stadium way too early, so we killed time just walking around the stadium, and watching the teams warm up. Around 7, the pre-game ceremony started, a tribute to not just the 2007 Giants, but also the past New York Giant championship winning teams. Video recaps of the 1986 and 1990 seasons accompanied an on-field tribute to some of the members of those Giant teams who were on hand. And then, the video tribute to the 2007 New York Giants started. The loudest cheers rang out for the Eli-to-Tyree play, the TD pass to Plaxico, and the sack of Brady by Jay Alford in the final minute. The crowd was absolutely besides itself with joy, and I tried to capture the roar of the crowd as much as I could in the video below.

At the end of the video, accompanied by fireworks, who steps onto the stage but none other than #92, Michael Strahan, holding aloft the real Lombardi trophy. Boy, did he ever get a huge reception. Everybody loves seeing that Lombardi trophy! He then proceeded to pump up the crowd like only he can. He got the crowd going so much that the cheers of the crowd pretty much drowned out whatever it was that he was saying. And what he was doing was getting us revved up as our beloved Giants ran onto the field. It was amazing. The video below tries to capture the moment.

Then, after Kate Mara sang the Star-Spangled Banner and 3 Black Hawk helicopters did a cool flyby over the stadium, it was time to play some football. The Giants started really well, with Eli showing some moves and rushing for the first TD himself (whodathunk?). Justin Tuck let everyone know that despite all the losses on the defensive unit, it was still going to be a  force to reckon with by getting a sack on the first defensive play for the Giants. The Giants dominated the first half, but seemed to lose their rhythm along the way, holding on for the 16-7 win.

But hey, a win is a win, especially against a division rival. The 2008 season is upon us, and the quest for a Superbowl repeat is now underway. As Rajji-B and I talked about it, we realized that no matter how well they do this year, there is no way this Giants team will approach the magic that was the 2007 Superbowl Champion New York Giants.

I’ll admit, I love award shows. There’s just something thrilling about them (and no, I am not talking about the endless questions about “what are you wearing”). I also love best-of lists and anything to do with rankings. So I love watching the ESPYs, because it is pretty much the only award show dealing with sports. And I watch it every year I can.

This year, the show was Must-See TV for me, because I knew that my beloved football Giants would be all over it for their heroics earlier this year. And it was just great, getting to relive the glory of their championship run again, still as satisfying today as it was 5 months ago. There was no way anything other than the Eli-To-Tyree play could have won Best Play. By the way, how cool was Eli’s acceptance speech? And it was just so sweet watching Terrell “That’s My Quarterback” Owens have to give the Best Game award to the Giants. While it was great that the Giants won Best Upset, I actually think Appalachian State should have won because the implication is that the Giants were more of an underdog and overmatched opponent, and that just isn’t true. The only blemish was the Celtics winning Best Team. I was hoping that the New England votes would get divided between the Red Sox and the Celtics, allowing the Giants to sneak in.

Oh yeah, there were other teams and athletes being honored too. It was funny that none of the nominees for Best Male Athlete were there in attendance, but Will Ferrell accepting as Tiger Woods (the only one to actually win a championship) was hilarious. It was heartening to see the fans recognize true excellence when Candace Parker got Best Female Athlete over Danica Patrick (who looked glum the whole time), but then they went and undid it by giving Best MLS Player to the oft-injured and zero impact performance of David Beckham.

Nowhere else can you see the blurring of the lines between sports and entertainment more than at the ESPYs. The red carpet covered by reporters from ET, Justin Timberlake hosting (he actually did a pretty good job, though the opening “act” was a little dragged out), A and B-list entertainers presenting to athletes and superstars. At one point, the actor Jon Hamm of AMCs ‘Mad Men’ even said “…reminds us why we play these games in the first place”. Really? “We”?

But beneath all that, somehow inspite of itself, the ESPYs managed to remind us of the power of sports. It reminded us of its power to inspire, when Kevin Everett was given the Jimmy V Award for his inspiring fight to simply regain control of his life. It reminded us of its purity and grace, as seen when the award for Best Moment was given to the 3 girls who touched our hearts when the two players from Central Washington carried their fallen opponent from Western Oregon around the bases after she tore her ACL during her home run sprint around the diamond (watch the video here, and read about it here; it is sure to give you a little more faith in humanity). THAT is how the game should be played, with a dignity and honor all too rare today, and not with the “win at all costs” attitude that is beaten into the athletes of today.

And it showed us that sports can be used as a platform to fight injustice, as we were reminded when Tommie Smith and John Carlos were given the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage in honor of their Silent Gesture at the 1968 Olympics. Athletes like them, like Arthur Ashe, like Muhammad Ali, took the courage and fearlessness they displayed in the sports arena, and used it to try and change the world. On the flip side, it also reminded us of how quick the sports world is to spit out the very athletes and courage it feeds on, lives on, sustains itself on. Watching them get the award, it also felt like it was ‘too little too late’, a symbolic gesture coming long after these courageous men had their careers murdered, their lives ruined, their homes broken, because the sport bodies that needed them to make money and flourish would not stand for them and protect them when the need arose. And we still see this today, when someone like Barry Bonds (who I would never defend) is allowed to play the game as long as he is chasing the record books, filling the stands, and making the sport money, but is shunned the minute his usefulness is over. And what does the award say at a time when we are about to have the 2008 Olympics hosted in a country that has its own human rights issue?

The ESPYs last night celebrated my Giants and what sports is capable of being, and that made for a very good night.

They won! They actually won, and on penalty kicks, no less. This is just unbelievable. The Red Devils won the Champions League trophy, the “Superbowl” of European (and therefore world) soccer. To make it sweeter, they beat bitter rivals Chelsea in what was the first-ever all English club championship.

The game was hard fought and very exciting. I hate games that have to be decided on penalty kicks, but I can’t argue with the result. Man U was not the better team today, since Chelsea seemed to play better than them for most of the game. But Chelsea did only manage a very lucky goal just before half time, and Man U had a number of chances that they just missed, plus a sweet goal from wiz-kid Cristiano Ronaldo (who am I really starting to like despite the attitude). So, in the driving rain, the game was decided by a penalty save by Van der Sar against Anelka, after a lucky break when John Terry slipped on the slick turf and hit the post on what would have been the winning PK for Chelsea (you have gotta feel bad for Terry, who is one of the nicest guys in soccer).

But most victories are built on someone else’s crushed dreams. And tonight, Man U made our dreams come true by crushing Chelsea’s hopes of a first European Championship and winning the Cup. It was also appropriate on what was the 50th anniversary of the Munich air crash that killed 8 United players.

This year, my beloved New York Giants won the Superbowl, and now Manchester United have won the Premiership and the Champions League Cup. Could the Yankees make it 3-for-3 and add to what is turning out to be a great year?

It’s NFL draft day, and as we know, the draft matters. Last year’s draft proved to be championship worthy for the Giants. Among the players they drafted, they found gems like Kevin Boss, Ahmad Bradshaw and Kevin Boss that were key pieces to winning the Superbowl.

Arav and I are going to be glued to the TV following what our Giants do. GO GIANTS!!!

Today was a day of celebration, a day to continue the great sense of fulfillment that we started to feel on Sunday. Leaving the house early in the morning, I headed over to downtown Manhattan to join thousands of fans in welcoming home our Superbowl Champion New York Giants.

Superbowl Champions. It still has a great ring to it. I joined thousands and thousands of Giants fans who feel the same way to share the love with the team. Even getting to Broadway as early as I did was no help, as I had to squeeze through crushing crowds to find a decent spot. We had to wait for hours, but the crowd passed time with some good natured New York fun – throwing toilet paper rolls across the street, bouncing a beach ball along the length of the crowds, even an inflated condom at one point (only in New York). People were climbing on top of lamp posts and phone booths. Chants of “Let’s Go, Giants“, “MVP” and “18-1” kept rising from the crowds.

Suddenly, the crowds roared as 8-9 buses rolled past us, obviously carrying the team members down to the starting point for the parade. The “Canyon of Heroes” was getting into the right mood to greet the returning victors. There was a giant screen set up by where I was standing, and a little after 11am, the crowds roared again as it showed Eli, Strahan, Coughlin and more emerge with the Vince Lombardi trophy and get on their float.

It was a lot of fun to be part of the crowd celebration, everyone doting on their beloved Giants, sharing this communal feeling of joy. When the defensive players went by on their floats, shouts of “D-Fense” went up. When a float or bus went by carrying people no one could recognize, chants of “Who Are You?” would fill the air. When Eli, Strahan and the Lombardi trophy came by, the place really went crazy, with everyone shouting “MVP” and “New York Giants“. When the float carrying the assistant coaches went by, chants of “Redskins suck” and other similar derogatory screams went up in an obvious appeal to Spagnuolo to not leave the Giants for a head coaching job there. Some players were obviously having more fun with the crowds than others – Pierce, Strahan, Bradshaw. A lot of players were taping the crowds, and were signing jerseys, caps, anything that the crowds threw at them.

After the last float went past, the crowds dispersed rapidly but pretty calmly. The surrounding streets and train stations were a sea of blue jerseys. Big Blue ruled the town this morning.

Photographs: I added photographs and video from Superbowl Sunday and the parade to my photo album on the ‘Life As We Know It‘ page. Just click on the album “Giants Win Superbowl” when you get there.

This is the most unbelievable feeling! My heart is still racing a mile a minute. My throat is aching from all the screaming. My beloved Giants have pulled off the biggest upset in the history of the NFL, and THE NEW YORK GIANTS ARE SUPERBOWL CHAMPIONS!

It was one of the best games I have watched. It was physical, exciting, back and forth all night. No one, absolutely no one can say that the Patriots lost that game. The Giants went out and won it, in decisive fashion, playing good ol’ smashmouth football. The D-Line went out and smacked Tom Brady silly, to silence that record-setting New England offense. The better team won big-time, in a game that is sure to go down in history, and not just because the Giants ruined the perfect season.

We continued our tradition of watching this years playoffs at Jeet and Jeeves place. First rule of sports is to never change anything that is working. And watching the Giants post-season at their place paid off big time. So big thanks go to them – our champion hosts. And I also have to thank Jeet for giving me the tickets to that Giants-Pats game in week 17 which we can now see clearly was the start of the Giants championship run. The core folks (Jeet and Jeeves, Sudipt and Svetlana, Advait, Ed, and of course, me and Tanu) were all there. And we were joined by Aneesh, Steve and Elizabeth, And what a night it was!

The game was full of highlight moments. Brandon Jacobs running over the defenders at the start of the game, an indicator of things to come. Amani Toomer and Steve Smith making some pivotal catches, including a great one by Toomer on the sideline. Ahmad Bradshaw continuing to grind out yards, even though a defender had him in a headlock and another was dragging him down. The 45-yard catch and run by Kevin Boss. And the D-line continuously introducing Brady to the turf of University of Phoenix Stadium.

But it was that last quarter, stomach churning beyond belief, that elevated this game to an instant classic. Watching Eli take the team down for the eventually winning TD, starting from their own red zone, with only 2:39 left in the game, was just unbelievable, especially when you consider the plays involved. That unbelievable escape by Manning, for a 32-yard downfield throw to Tyree, who makes an amazing catch – that will join Jeter’s play in the 2001 playoffs in New York lore as “The Play”.

The Play

Those last 35 seconds, with the Giants holding on to a slim 3 point lead, were the longest of my life. Watching Brady trying to engineer another game winning drive was nerve-wracking as hell. But the G-fense has been unbelievable all year, and really came through time and time again in the clutch. That massive hit Jay Alford put on Brady on 2nd down had everyone on their feet. And when that last hail mary from Brady to Moss was batted down with 2 seconds to go, we just lost it (click here to watch the secretly taken video of it). It is the most unbelievable feeling. Sooooo cooool!

Eli was great, especially when you consider how the year started. Even a month ago, people were doubting him. And what a drive in those last 3 minutes. He deserved the MVP award. But my MVP is Steve Spagnuolo, for turning the defensive unit into the awesome monster that they are. Watching Brady getting hit over and over again, getting sacked 5 times, slammed into the turf about 18 times, constantly getting pressure in his face – that is what won the game. That is what won the championship!

Brady becoming best friends with the Turf

Can’t wait for the parade on Tuesday. I am soooo there. We won the Superbowl! The New York Giants are NFL Champions!!! My son is going to be born a fan of Superbowl Champions!

Eli holds up the Lombardi trophy

It’s 2 in the morning, and I’m still on a high. The Road Warrior G-Men once again found a way to pull one out on the road. And in brutal conditions too. -4 F? Wind chill at -23F? Are you kidding me?

It’s never pretty. It darn near gives us a heart attack every single time. It always seems to go down to the wire; to the very last play. But this team manages to find a way to win when they need to. Their spirit is unbelievable. They made the Packers look a little ordinary, and anyone who followed football this year knows how far that is from the truth.

Once again at Ranjeet and Sanjeevanee’s place (see Jeeves, I learnt my lesson), we found ourselves screaming at the TV so many times, we were hoarse by the end of the night. When Webster fumbled his interception. When McQuarters fumbled the punt that almost got turned over. When the Bradshaw touchdown was called back on a borderline holding call. And never louder than when Tynes missed the 36 yard attempt at the end of regulation. After that Webster interception in overtime, when we failed to go down the field and the team was going for a 47 yard field goal, we were all screaming at the TV in anger at the decision.

And then a minute later, we were all jumping up and down and screaming in joy and elation when Tynes’ kick went through the uprights. The Giants are going to the Superbowl! Plaxico was huge in this game. Corey Webster played out of his mind, especially after being made to look foolish on that 90-yd TD by Driver. And the defense stepped up again and again. And Eli continued his path to living up to that whole pedigree thing.

0. The number of interceptions that Eli has thrown this postseason. That is the key to this improbable run. While us die-hard fans always backed the team and hoped they could do it, the team has actually made us believers. And it all started that night in the Meadowlands when Big Blue played their hearts out against the Patriots. I was there, and you could feel something special in the air that night. Clearly, we have to take that to Phoenix now, against those same Patriots, and just do a little better in two weeks.

Tynes after kicking the winning 47-yard FG in the Giants 23-20 win

The Superbowl in two weeks, against those unbeaten Patriots. To keep the streak going, we are going to be at Ranjeet and Sanjeevanee’s place again. We can’t wait. It is going to be huge!

It may not have been as much fun to watch as the Packers snow game on Saturday, but yesterday’s Giants win was the kind of game you love and hate as a sports fan. Tanu and I were at Ranjeet’s place with a bunch of other folks cheering on the Giants as we watched them steal one from the Cowboys. And boy, did it feel like stealing, right down to the wire.

Twice the Cowboys had long, demoralizing drives that ate up the clock and put points on the board. But the Giants somehow managed to do everything they needed to do to stay in the game and not lose the mental battle. That touchdown in the last minute of the first half, after the Cowboys had just taken 10+ minutes driving down the field for a bruising touchdown, was just the momentum builder needed at the half. Holding the Cowboys to just a field goal after the 8+ minute drive to start the 3rd quarter was key too. And then in the fourth quarter, when you just felt that the defense would give way after all the time they had been forced to spend on the field, they somehow held strong against the NFCs leading offense.

Those last 4 minutes were sheer agony as a fan. I couldn’t stay in my seat and had to walk around the whole time. One can only imagine what the Giants must have been feeling. And when McQuarters picked off Romo, everyone in the house just erupted in screams. We were jumping up and down so much, we may have damaged the new floors of Jeet’s place.

Oh well, he can’t complain. We’re going to be back there next Sunday, hoping to continue the streak.