With a new year having arrived, and Arav nearing the 9 month mark, I thought I would throw out some random thoughts that have been knocking around in my head.

• The zippers on all baby clothes should be the silent kind. Nothing is worse than putting your baby to sleep only to have him wake up when you zip the wearable blanket
• Someone should make a mini dishwasher for baby bottles and stuff. Because (a) we wash the bottles way more often than we run the dishwasher and (b) we don’t want to mix his stuff with our stuff
• We have the spork already. Why don’t we have forks with a sharp, knife-like edge (a knork, or a foife, if you will) to allow for one-handed eating of food, while we try to control our baby in the other?
• Can anyone make socks, mittens and hats that the baby is not going to pull off within 2 minutes of putting it on? It’s annoying that his shoes are more useful as sock-retainers
• The head of the FDA should be made to drink their daily coffee with a dollop of BPA for 2 years. Then maybe the FDA will do its job
• Someone should make a crib attachment or mini recliner for babies that simulates the sounds, vibrations and feel of a moving car. It would sell like hot cakes to parents desperate for ways to help their baby sleep

• The NY Giants need to do a better job of merchandising clothes for babies. The Yankees are kicking your a$$e$ at this. Even the Mets and Jets have decent options
• You know those sprays you get that you use to keep dogs off furniture? Why isn’t there something like that to keep children away from, say, expensive home entertainment setups, or remote controls, or glasses, or cellphones, or …
• All baby toys should be labeled “May not be used by your baby the way you think it will”
• Someone needs to figure out a way to bottle baby laughter. It is the cure for all ills

The last week or so has been pretty major in our house. It all started during our last few days in Puerto Rico. All of a sudden, something clicked for Arav, and he figured out how to crawl. Up until then, he had spent about a month or so being able to get on his knees, but not figuring out what to do next. His moving around therefore consisted mostly of rolling around till he got to where he was going, or going backwards when he meant to go forward, because his legs kept slipping underneath him.

The amazing thing is that within a few days (literally), he has gotten so adept at crawling, that he is now going full tilt around the room and getting into every corner of the apartment. Nothing is safe now. That whole baby-proofing thing we had been putting off, we need to get that done pronto.

The more impressive thing (to us) is that out of the blue this kid has figured out how to get into a sitting position from whatever position he is in (lying on his front or on his back, or crawling around). It’s not exactly elegant, as it involves raising his butt really high in the air, then doing this wierd yoga-like move where he crosses one leg underneath himself and then lowers himself, letting gravity, physics and biomechanics do the inevitable of sitting him up. But we never saw this coming, because unlike the crawling, he hasn’t been trying to do this and failing for a month now. It just showed up in his repertoire out of nowhere. And now he is completely fluid at it.

Babies are just amazing!

It has been a truly frustrating and maddening weekend. The idea (however trivial) that you cannot protect your baby from harm can give you a dull pain in the head unlike anything else. And it is heightened by the thought there is little you can do about it.

In searching for bottles to use in feeding Arav, we had settled on Philips Avent bottles a while back. And we really liked the bottles. Arav seemed comfortable with them, and they handled well. The only hassle was that boiling the bottles to sterilize them took us way too long.

So this weekend we decided to take a look at bottle sterilizers. While researching these, Tanu came to realize something about the Avent bottles that made me (at least) really mad. They are not BPA-free.

BPA stands for Bisphenol-A, a plastic softener used in the production of polycarbonate plastic to mantain its clear look (prevent them from getting cloudy over time).For the past several years, research scientists have increasingly warned manufacturers and consumers about the potential dangers of BPA, suggesting that the chemical could cause behavioral changes in babies.

A while ago, Tanu and I decided to avoid heating food in plastic containers, because we had learnt that the heating and microwaving process could cause chemicals to leach from the plastic into the food. When making the decision on which baby bottles to get, I naturally assumed that any baby bottle that states that it should be boiled for sterilization would avoid using any chemicals subject to this leaching process. I was wrong.

Turns out that most baby bottles on the market still use BPA, and that thanks to the blind eye the FDA has turned on the subject, aren’t required to state on their packaging that they use these chemicals. There are no warnings; there is little information about it.

As you can imagine, learning that the bottles we had been boiling 4 times a day for the last 6-7 weeks contained BPA really rung my bell. It set off a mad dash to try and figure out what baby bottles to replace the Avent with, worries about how Arav would take to new bottles with a new flow, and a new round of process adjustments. The new bottles we got, made by Born Free, are supposedly free of BPA and any other harmful chemicals, but have so many parts that cleaning them is now a complete chore.

The worst part is knowing that, like with so many other things, we could find out years from now that there was something else in the bottles that was potentially harmful. In the world we now live in, it is probably safe to assume that there is something unsafe in everything we touch and use. Makes you wish for a simpler time, and a simpler life. And makes you wish there was some way you could just KNOW everything you need to know to protect your baby. Is there any way we can truly keep him safe? Not being able to answer “yes” to that – that is true anguish.

Some Resources:

• The Bisphenol-A Free Portal
• The Z-Report

In this internet age, new parents have another task to add to their already long to-do list – ensuring the proper presence of their kid on the web. Arav is well on his way in this regard. His arrival has already been noted not just in this blog, but in Ranjeet’s blog as well. His photographs are on my website already, as well as on my flickr and facebook pages. And we have already registered his email address and domain name.

Now that I have adjusted a little to my new life schedule, I have been able to spend some time to make a major structural change to my website, forced on me by his arrival. Tanu recommended the change in anticipation of the many, many photographs we will be taking, and the desire of the grandparents and cousins to get to them easily. I have broken out the albums related to our family life (which will now be dominated by Arav) into a new section of my website. The section is called ‘Family Scrapbook‘, and the latest album in it is a set of photographs from Arav’s first full week at home. It is definitely the first of many. Check it out.

So we’ve had a few days at home now with Arav, and certain patterns (that will be familiar to those that have been through this experience) are starting to emerge. Tanu and I are in a permanent state of sleep deprivation, and walk around like zombies all day. Our life completely revolves around Arav at this point. We’ve taken to dividing up the night into two halves and taking one each. And during the day, her parents help us out. But ultimately, it is still a lot to do. Having to feed the kid every two hours means that there is absolutely no break from the work involved. Our days and nights are an endless cycle of feeding, cleaning up, putting him to sleep, doing whatever else we need to do in 30 min (if lucky, we catch some shut-eye), and then waking him up again to repeat the cycle all over. It feels never-ending and relentless.

I feel bad for Tanu. The physical toll on her is far greater on her, considering the labor she is still recovering from and the subsequent responsibilities she has. I’ll say it again – I have no idea why women knowingly put themselves through this ordeal. I would have wilted a long time ago.

Things are much better though than his first day home. I guess the shift from the hospital to his new home must have made him irritable, but the peaceful Arav seems to have returned. He is much more calm at home, and easier to handle. It’s still a bit of a task getting him to wake up so we can feed him, but all in all, we can’t complain. We have heard horror stories from friends and family, and count our blessings in that department.

The whole thing is definitely a grind, but it is not without reward. There are moments with Arav that are a sheer delight. And watching an infant is fascinating, if just to remember that we all went through this same stage of life (and put our parents through pretty much the same thing). To lie around all day sleeping, being fed and being cleaned up – now that is the life.

Hopefully, the patterns will become routine pretty soon, and we will be able to fashion our life around them. Right now it seems like this is all we do. But since I have to work my way back into a work schedule starting next week, I have to figure out a way to make this part of my regularly scheduled programming.

Our wireless router is messed up, so it is taking me longer than I would like to get these posts out. Hopefully the situation will improve in the next couple of days. Also, our little bundle of joy is pretty demanding, so that means that thoughts of timeliness are pretty much dreams at this point.

Yesterday was a day of many “firsts” for us. It was the first complete day for Arav at home, the first complete day for us as a family. It was full of little victories – getting through the night somehow with a screaming baby, cutting his nails without hurting him, managing to bathe him. Everything, no matter how insignificant, feels like a big win, something to tell us that we are not in over our heads here. It would all be pretty manageable if not for the darned lack of sleep. You hear about it all along, mentally prepare yourself as much as you can, but when it hits you, it still leaves you a little stunned. Both of us are really looking forward to

Yesterday was also full of what I hope were the first of many precious moments – watching him smile while dreaming about something nice (do babies dream? Tanu tells me that in India they say that for the first 3 months, a baby dreams about his past life), feeling Arav’s weight on me as he slept in my arms, watching him search for the source of sounds around him, gazing at his content face as he feeds or sleeps.

And it was obviously full of the first of many anxious moments. Is he feeding enough? Is he still breathing? Why is he crying so much? Or not crying enough? It is quite unbelievable that so many people go through this experience, because it feels so non-intuitive in the way it works. The instincts for raising a child seem to be pretty alien, and no amount of reading or advice seems to make things better. There is so little that feels like it is in our control.

This is going to be interesting!

Yesterday turned out to be a jam-packed, special day for us. Arav got discharged from the hospital, and we got to bring him home. We were prepared, or so we thought.

First, in the morning, I had issues trying to get the car seat attached. My Passat is supposed to support the LATCH system, but try as I might, I could not find the connectors to attach the seat to. After 50 minutes of struggling with the seat cushions, reading the car manual and trying all manner of things, I ended up using the seat belt to tie it down. That ordeal made us late getting to the hospital. But at least it worked in whatever manner it needed to.

At the hospital, we found Arav ready to go home. The discharge process took about 4 hours though, what with all the paperwork and having to feed Arav in between. Our experience at Beth Israel has been really good. All the physicians and nurses were really good, and really helped us with lots of advice, tips and general encouragement. So we came there feeling pretty good about our abilities. But then the nurse assigned to Arav for the discharge process turned out to be really unhelpful. So much so that whatever reserves of confidence we had built up got completely destroyed. One nurse can make a huge difference. Our attempts to get someone else to help us were thwarted by the fact that it was a really busy day for them with lots of babies being handled.

When we got home, Tanu’s mom gave Arav a proper (and traditional) welcome, after which we settled down to the task of getting Arav settled into his new home. And that is when chaos ensued. Some phrase about the best laid plans comes to mind…

And the peaceful Arav we encountered at the hospital has disappeared. As soon as he got home, the munchkin decided that he was going to show everyone who is really in charge. He’s been making all of us run around, and has kept Tanu and me up most of the night. He refuses to sleep in the crib, and will only sleep if one of us is holding him close. Feeding is a chore, and I won’t even talk about the other stuff. Let’s just say that this morning finds us tired, a little frazzled, and pretty unsure about being able to get through what lies ahead.

Photographs: I added photographs from this MAJOR event in our life to the ‘Special Occasions‘ section of my website, under the album “The Birth of Arav”.

Monday turned out to be a big day for the Kaushik-Sood household. We had our first addition, a bouncing baby boy we have named Arav. Our son decided that enough was enough, and surprised us on Monday night (the 14th) at 9:54pm, having spent the entire weekend tormenting Mom.

The future New York Giants quarterback (Mom is not bought into this idea yet, but Dad is working hard on convincing her) weighed in at a decent 7 lbs 6 oz and a little under 20 inches long. So far, Arav has been living up to his name, which means “peaceful” in Sanskrit. He’s a quiet baby who takes after Mom – lots of hair, nice long nails and loves to sleep. But most folks have told me that he looks like me (poor kid). Personally, I can’t tell, but it is fun to see Tanu’s reaction when someone tells her this.

Having front row seats to his birth, I have to say something about the so-called “miracle of birth”. It is a miracle all right, a miracle that so many women knowingly put themselves through it, and not just one time (when they could argue that they didn’t know what they were getting into). What Tanu went through would have laid me out cold right at the outset. That girl of mine tapped into hidden reserves of strength that we didn’t know she had (and likely never would in any other circumstance).

Witnessing the birth of Arav was a slightly surreal, completely amazing experience. Even though you’ve heard about it a bunch of times, seen those dramatizations on TV and in movies, fully expect what is going to happen, you still don’t know what you are in for. And those first few moments looking at him was like nothing else I have ever experienced. Holding him for the first time, I just couldn’t believe he was a little person that me and Tanu (but mostly Tanu) had made. He is just wonderful.

In a twist of fate, I am not the first one breaking news of Arav’s arrival to the blogosphere. Ranjeet beat me to it because he had a computer and internet access. I have some issues with conclusions he has drawn about the timing of the birth. He thinks that Arav’s arrival during the hockey playoffs portends a future in the NHL. I, on the other hand, think that he wanted to get here in time for the NFL draft next weekend. Time will tell.

Can’t wait to get the little guy home!

Our steps towards parenthood continued with the latest milestone – putting together the crib.

The “crate” (as my aunt called it when she gifted it to us) got delivered by FedEx a few days ago, and it took me one evening to put it together. My fair and circumferentially challenged wife was no help in the process, leaving me to do all the heavy lifting and deft construction work on my own. But she did have fun snapping pictures of me (a little too much fun, if you ask me).

It actually wasn’t too difficult. The instructions were good, but not great. While they did a great job of labeling the parts (especially the screws, which is something that isn’t usual), they didn’t really label the wooden supports, which led me to connect it the wrong way round once.

Thankfully, I managed to get past those mistakes. I did have to do my fair share of balancing acts to get it put together. At one point I had a small pyramid made from the Styrofoam packaging to balance the mattress support on while I tried to get it into the right slots. I wouldn’t recommend the project to anyone that is not fairly dexterous. And I only stubbed my toes once

Now to figure out a place for it in our room.

Okay, so it isn’t really that momentous actually. But when the week ended yesterday, Tanu and I both heaved a collective sigh of relief at finally getting over the hump of the big purchases we needed to make. They had kinda been weighing on our minds, since we had spent time researching these things, but had not actually gotten any of them into our house. And the closer the date gets, the harder it is for Tanu to go shopping.

But we finally got most of our big ticket items. The photograph on the right shows me surrounded by most of it in one corner of our bedroom where it is all accumulating. Chief among these was the travel system (thanks Mamaji-Mamiji), which includes the stroller and infant car seat that we will need to bring the kid back home from the hospital. We had actually gone to the store a couple of times before to get it, but could never find the exact model we wanted. This weekend, we finally managed to get it. The other item is the crib mattress in the corner, which goes with the crib (or the “crate”, as Maasi calls it, who is gifting it to us) that should be getting delivered soon. Figuring out the mattress was much harder, because no one recommends specific mattresses, and the same one is named differently in different stores, making comparison shopping so much harder.

The diaper bag was also challenging, because we (fine, I) wanted to get one that was not too cutesy, and that I would be okay carrying around. But everything we looked at either had lots of pink, looked like a ladies bag, was a glorified backpack, was covered with colorful animals, or was way overpriced. After lots of searching we finally found this Eddie Bauer bag that looks like it will be the one.

As you can see in the photograph, I have been forced to clear out books from my bookcase to make way for the myriad items that we are accumulating – diapers, wipes, refills, soap and the like. I hear I may even have to give up another dresser drawer (having already given up half of my share to Tanu).

Here is another thing we realized over the weekend. This kid is going to be expensive! Yesterdays shopping trip alone, when we bought the travel system, the mattress and other assorted items, was a significant chunk of money. Since Tanu didn’t like the idea of a baby shower, we didn’t have a gift registry. And because we are particular about the things we wanted to get, our relatives had to essentially tell us the things they wanted us to get on their behalf from our list. So while the sting of buying so much stuff may have been lessened, having to buy it all (and carry it to the car) myself made me appreciate the so-called “cost of a baby” all the more.

Now to get that labor bag ready…